Alert!

It's not a cup. It's a poor excuse for a flu-filtering face mask.

Just beyond those mountains: Mexico. And the flu.

Paul monitors the situation.

Paul buys swine flu vaccine. Plans to make million$.

What exactly is "essential travel" to Messico?

Thank goodness we've laid in supplies--the most important one.

This contraption that looks like a super-sized silver colon is our deluxe air filtration system.
No pig could ever get through this.

An effective flu fighter.

You can't say we're not prepared. We have locked ourselves in our Green Valley house in anticipation of a major swine flu outbreak here in southern Arizona. Mexico is a short thirty miles south and Mexico has lots of Mexicans and they have the flu and with one giant collective sneeze could infect us all. So we are staying put with our super air filtration system turned up to "max".

Good thing we loaded up on boxed wine at Safeway, which is anything but "safe" since it's full of hacking old people. Daisy has a stockpile of meaty chew bones but is having a hard time chewing through her face mask.

Remember when bird flu had everyone in a twitter (before "twitter" became a verb)? Well, that was much ado about very little. At the same time bird flu was on the march, anthrax was in the mail, ricin in the water and a lot of other toxic fairy dust was floating around that could kill us in a heartbeat.

Some say this is all Obama's doing to push his socialized agenda and speed up nationalized health care when in fact I blame that "pig" (this is Paul ranting) Rush Limbaugh and his lard-ass freaks in the pig sty, Hannity, Glenn Beck, Fred Thompson and his 13-year-old bride. Again, this is Paul's rant, not mine.

All this comes on a day when Arlen Specter switches from the Republican to the Democratic party, thereby insuring the demise of the GOP as we know it and the two-party system. Paul believes this is just the first of many defections to come. And he adds that the Republican party will reemerge around 2025, reconstituted as the twenty-first century Whig party. (Can you imagine Lindsey Graham, Newt Gingrich or Rush Limbaugh in a powdered wig?It boggles the mind.) Yes, go-go GOP. Thank God Daisy's a dem. (Paul's words, not mine. I'm merely the typist for this latest outburst.)

Be afraid, America. Be very afraid. If the flu doesn't get us, a 30% tax on capital gains and 25% on dividends will empty our collective coffers. We'll need a bailout. Where's MY stimulus check?