North Dakota-bound

We're back! After more than two weeks of spotty or no internet service at all (most RV parks advertise "free WIFI" but quite often even the best fail to deliver), we are now sitting in the rain in St. Joseph, Missouri in one of the snaggiest parks so far but it has a strong WIFI signal. The photo you're looking at was taken about three weeks ago as we took a shortcut from Cody, Wyoming up to Interstate 94. This particular road, "Alternate Route 14", is billed as a scenic byway. Scenic, yes, but scary as hell if you're pulling a trailer. There is only a small warning sign at the base of the mountain that says "Steep Grade Ahead". We thought, "how steep could it really be?". Well, it was about thirty miles of gear-grinding, gut-wrenching, and at times almost defeating work for the Tundra pulling the 5,000-pound Lance. You go from 2,000 feet elevation at the base to more than 50,000 feet at the summit. It makes Everest look like a pimple.You go from 90 degrees at the base to 30 below at the summit where you encounter snow in late July. So travelers beware. We damn near didn't make it. At one point in our climb so much heavy exhaust was coming out of the truck's tailpipe that it set off the carbon monoxide detector in the trailer. Had we been pulling with a Chevy, Ford, Dodge or GMC we wouldn't have made it. Thank God for the '04 Tundra with crew cab and Vista snug top. This truck takes no prisoners. He is KING OF THE ROAD. Remember that when you go shopping for your next pickup.Paul was so proud of the Tundra's performance that he bought one of these dippy trucker signs to put on the driver's side door. He's old so I tolerate his goofy behavior. But I will say he hasn't crapped his pants in more than a month.At the downslope end of the world's steepest mountain was Miles City, Montana. This was the spectacular view from our campsite. Kind of brings a tear, don't it?Daisy slept through the whole damn thing. Duh.Next day, a big day for Daisy. A new day. A new state. North Dakota.Right after the "welcome to North Dakota" billboard, a sign tries to scare the hell out of meth users. Doesn't deter us. Meth, Crack. Cocaine. Heroin. Excedrin. Anything to take the pain out of this trip.We spent the night just inside the state line at Teddy Roosevelt National Park. Had never heard much about it. At the park's entrance is North Dakota's number one attraction, the small western-flavored town of Medora. A cutesy, boutiquish little place but that's about it.T-shirt shops, fudge shops, ice cream stores. Fairy typical. And then I discovered the statue of Mary, Mother of God, beckoning me into the one true church and the oldest Catholic Church in North Dakota, St. Mary's. Which might explain the statue.The Church was having its centennial celebration and the priest, in good Catholic fashion, was serving hooch in his backyard. God, ain't we Catholics a hoot!Medora, by the way, is where a wagon train filled with gay Mormons heading west was attacked by Ein-jines and this colorful wagon is a monument to that event.Oh, this is the park entrance sign.Teddy Roosevelt was a big environmentalist and animal-lover and so he came to this area to blast the hell out of as many as he could. He missed a few prairie dogs that you'll see through your drive through the park. They're about as exciting as watching paint dry.But they did get Daisy's attention. She was heard to say, "let me at 'em". But where there are prairie dogs there are rattlesnakes. So we kept her in the safe confines of the '04 Tundra with crew cab and Vista snugtop.Teddy also missed waxing the great-grandfather of this beast. He stumbles through the park looking for love. In his frustration he's been known to trample hikers, bikers, and little kids. We have to get this buffalo laid. Hope he finds a mate and soon.What the hell was Teddy Roosevelt thinking when he said these "beautiful badlands" are worth saving? This is the park's premier scenic overlook but I think the back of Daisy's head is the most scenic thing in the picture.We stayed in the park's campground. A nice quiet little spot and a bargain at $5 a night. The tranquility was compromised when this motorcoach pulled into a handicapped spot directly across from us. It immediately fired up two big generators and when the mandatory "quiet time" of 10PM arrived, the loud generators kept running. Well, Paul had enough. He went to the ranger to lodge a complaint. The ranger went to the huge motorcoach, knocked on the door and was told there a patient inside in an iron lung and that was why the generators had to run 24/7. It was a matter of life or death. Paul said, "I have paid my five dollars. Rules is rules!". The ranger told the motorcoach operator that the generators would have to be turned off. He complied. We all fell fast asleep and were awakened around 8AM when the damn coroner's wagon showed up. If it's not one thing it's another. Well, at least we got a good night's sleep. And remember: rules is rules. And as card-carrying members of the Tea Party we are insisting that these laws be enforced. DON'T TREAD ON ME.But now for something really important, the road east through North Dakota is lightly traveled with damn few trucks. While hardly America's most scenic interstate it  is a pleasure to travel. And we stick this in because we have a good friend who is from Dickinson, North Dakota. Thought you'd really want to see it.Then we pulled into a Dickinson gas station that's a combo gas station/McDonald's restaurant. You can actually order a Big Mac at the pump and it'll be delivered to you while you're still gassing up. How scary is that? Almost as scary as this creepy clown.

But we have one more stop in North Dakota where we think we've found a mate for that horny lone bison on the prowl in Teddy Roosevelt National Park.  See you soon. Daisy says "hey".