Swamp Things

It's a morning that makes you want to jump right in and enjoy the glory of the day ahead. But appearances can be deceiving. Because here the signs (see above) warn of hidden dangers.

Well, shoot. There went my morning swim to say nothing of the afternoon and evening.

This is Lake Talquin a few miles west of Tallahassee.

Although some brave souls do venture out on the water, some of those hidden dangers are big enough to knock boaters ass-over-teakettle and have them for breakfast.

Another beauty shot...





...and another.

Despite the very real threats, we were sucked in by the lake's tranquility. Daisy and Paul went exploring.

This particular spot, called "Coe's Landing" is a small, public campground with a boat-launch and lakeside RV sites.


It turned out to be my favorite spot so far on this trip despite me constantly looking over my shoulder for Swamp Thing.

I asked this fisherman about the dangers hidden below. He shivered and pointed to that small island offshore. He said it's filled with water moccasins actually hanging from the trees. He then pointed out an alligator swimming to the left of his boat. Anything else you want to know?

Not to be overly dramatic but he said there are probably 500 to 1,000 gators in this lake alone and that very day saw one that was longer than his boat. That would make it about a 30-footer.

Usually all you can see is this, their eyes and snout sticking out of the water and perhaps a bit of their back. They are wily damn things and meaner than spit.

Even Daisy could sense the ever-present danger when we took her for a drag on the dock.

Of course if you're little, low-to-the-ground Daisy, it's more of a problem than for this campground dog named "Bogart", a gentle Great Dane about 300 times her size. (The dog owns this fellow, the campground manager.)But even Bogart knows to stay away from the water and away from the sides of the docks. These gators have been known to leap up to grab a dog, a kid or even a beer-filled cooler. Gators do not make good pets.

Daisy's favorite refuge was in the all-new for 2010 2285 Lance travel trailer with side-slider and screen door...

...seen here in a wider shot.

The view from our campsite.

The "crackers" down here think it's cool to have a vanity license plate like this. Sort of like putting a great white shark with its jaws wide open on a California plate. Or a Puerto Rican with a shiv on a New York plate. (I can say that because my mom's a New Yor-rican and she always carries a knife to keep the Gravitts in check.)

Some rural Floridians are referred to as "crackers", a term that came into use years ago when Florida was a prominent cattle ranching state. A cowboy's whip would make a "cracking" sound when snapped on cattle drives. Hence the term "cracker".

To be sure, this is why we travel. To make fun of all the diverse people and environments across this great land of ours.

For example, our next stop came highly recommended by our neighbor in Sedona and a couple of other friends. It's a small coastal village on the gulf called "Cedar Key".

We went there with no great expectations but absolutely loved the place. This is what is known as "Old Florida", a low-rise, slow-pace counterpart to the big cities down the coast. It struck me as a cross between Avalon on Catalina Island, Locke in the California Delta, some sleepy, swampy moss-draped bayou town and rickety clapboard Haleiwa in Hawaii. Yep.

Only "Old Florida", Cedar Key, has probably been knocked down a few times by several hurricanes over its 150-year existence. This looks like it used to be part of a fishing pier.

No more.

So much of what you see now is repaired or rebuilt but with an eye on maintaining the charm of yesteryear.

This is touted as a fishing, clamming and shrimping village but these days there are far more day-trippers than serious fishermen.

At least Cedar Key has dog-friendly beaches. Had to keep Daisy on a leash but that was okay. Most beaches in Florida don't allow dogs within fifty feet of the sand.

Locals liken Cedar Key to Key West. We liked it much better. Cedar Key, that is. Because it's smaller, quiet and doesn't have nearly the number of whack jobs you find in Key West.

While Sedona--where we're from-- likes to tout its high-end art and world-class artists, Cedar Key doesn't take itself so seriously. Its art is funky and low-brow.

See what we mean? Here's Daisy being pulled from the jaws of a great white. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Ain't a lot to do in Cedar Key. This is a old rails-to-trails nature walk. A railroad was built here in 1861 but then other railroads bypassed it and the tracks were torn up. Now it's a walking trail that goes nowhere.

Here's where it goes: to the water with some old pilings. May as well be nowhere.

Time to turn around...

This is part of the nature walk: a beer can stuck in a tree.

Ah...nature.

A lot of money and time were spent on this trail to nowhere.

Where'd this good ol' boy come from? Why, from North Carolina. This is Jerry Bubba. More about him later.

But first, a history lesson. I found this interesting. John Muir -- you do know who he is, I hope --spent time in Cedar Key where he had plenty of time to think while recovering from a bout of malaria . It was here along Florida's "nature coast" that he realized that the value of nature is in "nature itself".

From Florida he drove his Prius to California, fought for the establishment of Yosemite National Park and founded the Sierra Club.

Another cracker house.

Remember, we said Cedar Key was low-key. Real low-key. After the nature walk with the beer can, we drove to the next exciting location...

...where you can sit on the tarmac and watch a Cessna take off. Whee!!!

Right by the airport, sites like this which show you the quaint fishing village side of Cedar Key.

And then for real excitement I found this you-pick farm with collard greens, cilantro and some other things growing hydroponically in small pots.

This was our RV park.

Remember Jerry-Bubba above? He towed this barbeque wagon from North Carolina where he said he couldn't make a living anymore because of Obama...not at all sure what that meant but somehow he plans to put the business back together here at the RV park. He said he makes the best bbq around. Paul asked him what kind of sauce he uses. He said don't tell anybody but he gets it at Sam's Club. Said you can't make it for as cheaply as they sell it. But then he adds "secret ingredients" to it. Don't tell anybody.

The sign on JB's (Jerry Bubba's) bbq wagon was painted by an ex-con. He did a nice job, don't you think?

While he waits to relaunch his bbq business ( waiting for permits that Obama's holding back), Jerry works as the maintenance man at the RV park, making sure the fishing docks don't fall into the water.

Here's a shot of Paul standing between the all-new for 2010 2285 Lance travel trailer with side slider (not seen here) and to his left, the '04 Tundra with crew cab -- did we mention 4.7-liter engine? -- and matching Vista camper shell, also not seen here. But by now you must have plenty of shots that you can refer back to of both the slider and the camper.

The RV park was a bit like old Florida. This place was probably built in the '50s. The 1750s. It could use some updating but it's very charming and quiet and nice just the way it is.

Jerry-Bubba, barbeque dude, does a good job keeping the restrooms spic-and-span.

We had a nice view of the water. Can't complain.

And of course, there's Daisy. After all, it is still all about the dog and she is ready to get on down the road. Next stop: Tampa. And interestingly enough here, locals call themselves "Tampons". Yeowwwww!!!!